The story we didn't know we needed

Before Alex Myers' talk, I did not realize how prominent the transgender population was throughout history. His presentation provided examples of transgender people dating back to the 1700s when the British first conquered what is now known as the United States. When he brought this to our attention, the questions that remained constant through my mind were: Why do we not know about this? Why is this not in our history textbooks? As he speculated, it may be because society was not comfortable with telling these stories, or simply was not ready to not had the language to discuss these subjects. Along with a shift, the overt appearance of the transgender population also came a shift with the language that was used to describe those who are now considered to be transgender. Whether it be a transexual, transvestite, or crossdressing, transgenders have always been a part of history, and are not a phenomenon due to the radical society we live in today. I have not had many interactions with those that are part of the transgender population, and I have a lot of learning to do. Unfortunately, I have only begun to grasp what this experience is like (I will never understand because I am not transgender), but Alex's story among those in history deserves to be told. They deserve to be told not only to show the struggle but also to normalize these situations.

Like Alex mentioned many people are critical of parents who allow their children to freely express themselves, especially through clothing. People will ask things like, "How can you let your son/daughter out dressed like that?" "What're you teaching him/her/them back at home?" This is something I believe our society's biggest struggle currently. Gender expression as Alex mentioned is not directly correlated with sexuality. A little girl can want to wear tomboy clothes and still want to pursue men in her future. A little boy can wear a skirt and still want to pursue women in the future. Gender is very complicated, and parents should allow their children to figure out their gender expression as gender identity is biological, and something that is instilled within each one of us through history. The better question might be why does society continue to have an issue with actions that are not heteronormative? If something is not normal, it is negative? Why is society threatened by queerness in the different forms it appears. A boy wears a skirt, so what? A parent who is not directly against gender expression may say, "I do not have anything against a little boy wears a skirt, but I do have an issue with my little boy wearing a skirt." This is the issue. If someone truly did not have an issue with someone who was gender non conforming, then they would not have a problem if their own kid identified that way. There is a limited tolerance for behavior which highlights that society needs to be more than tolerant or even accepting but welcoming. No, welcoming gender expression will not suddenly change sexual orientation, but it will allow the inherently biological sexual orientation to be clear from the very beginning. I wish to live through a time where there is no longer a question to someone's parenting skills if they allow their children to practice their own gender expression. Children begin to interact with their own identity as early as 5 years old. Alex was sure he wanted to be a boy when he grew up when his family first asked him that question. Unfortunately, he was conditioned to repress this feeling he had until it became painfully clear in high school. If Alex was allowed to be himself from the very beginning all the confusion he had to face throughout his life would not have been present and his road to living as his true self would have been expedited.

Alex's story is fascinating because of the simple fact that he is an amazing success, but I also think it is very important to acknowledge that is not the story for most. As Alex touched in Continental Divide, Ron Bancroft was met with hostility when his coworkers found out he was trans. They brutally beat him and almost raped him not only because of the deception but also because of his identity. Maybe Ron and Alex were right, going west was where you were going to find men, toxic men, men who were so proud of being men that were what basically what they sweat. Each mannerism described by Myers in the book was stereotypically masculine to a point of disgust for the reader. When Clyde wanted to show Ron what a real man was by raping him, it showed the extent that these apparent real men had a need to inflate their own egos, their own manliness. If Ron did not get away, he would have likely ended up dead as many other members of the trans community do. Ron and Alex's stories are those that have happy endings. I enjoyed reading these stories, but I also feel like society needs a story that does not have a happy ending. It ends with a transgender person tragically dying because someone else did not accept who they were. Someone else decided that because that person was transgender they did not deserve to live. That story needs to be told. Society needs to talk about it. We can no longer simply be tolerant we need to be welcoming.