Cooking: The Ultimate Love Language

In my experience, cooking has always been a form to communicate love. Although the women in my family primarily do the cooking, it is not so much seen as a chore or as a women's duty, but rather as a form of communication. Just this past weekend when my grandmother found out I was home, her first response in Spanish was, "Porque no me dijeste que venias, yo habria cocinado?" or "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home, I would have cooked for you?" I remember being in the kitchen with my mother as early as five years old, yearning to be able to indulge in cooking, something that for some reason mesmerized me. I remember begging my parents to buy me a stool, so I could be "just like Mami". I wanted to be eye-level with the stove and the kitchen counter as I was too little to reach at the time of my initial interest. I wanted to learn how to cut fruits and vegetables with the ease that my mother and grandmother seemed to naturally hone. I wanted to learn the art of what it meant to pour your heart into your cooking. There is truly nothing like your mother's cooking. I cannot say the statistic that "less than 7% of restaurants in the US have female head chefs" surprised me. Society culturally has associated food with a mother, but the question is what type of food? Restaurant food or food cooked at home? In comparison to prior decades/centuries food is no longer the sole responsibility of women, but rather is seen as a life skill. Due to this, the art of cooking has become a passion for many women hence the expression, "there is nothing like your mother's cooking". Although to a certain extent this frankly carters to the gender stereotype that women do all the cooking, I am not convinced that the majority of women want to turn their love for cooking into something competitive or business-like. After class, I asked my mother why she loved cooking and her answer was this: "I cook for you kids, half of the time I do not even eat the food I cook, I simply get joy from seeing how happy my cooking makes you." Because of this, I believe that many women may feel similarly as my mother does, they cook because they love it, not because they want to become a lead chef. Food, in this case, is nurturing, and a nurturing behavior in a restaurant environment would destroy this art. The art of cooking as Julia Childs puts it is about creation, it is about tasting, timing, and ability. A restaurant environment, in my opinion, is not about the art of creation, but rather it is about following a specific agenda to cater to a specific consumer. Due to this, I believe women should have more cooking shows to share this love of creation with the world, much like that of Julia Childs. Yet, the women who are portrayed on cooking shows need to be more than just a great cook. The articles emphasize that the only successful women cooking shows have women who are portrayed as whimsical and quirky. These women had to present other skills besides simply being great chefs. This double standard is another answer to the statistic of "less than 7% of women are head chefs at restaurants". In the end, I believe that women and cooking are a very loaded subject. Women struggle with assuming their stereotypical gender role, having a passion, having a career, and attempting to navigate a very sexist restaurant environment. I am mostly surprised that this is something I gave no thought about until now. I have never realized that restaurant chefs are disproportionately male, but frankly, I do not believe I am too eager to change this statistic.