Am I programed to be a girl?

As I read the articles and listened to Mr. Robertson, all I could do was reflect on my childhood. Not to make this dramatic, but the concept that gender stereotypes are within our day to day language really freaked me out. The idea that starting at 2nd grade we talk to boys and girls differently shows how deeply rooted gender inequality is.
Language is the key to communication without this, there truly would be nothing. The one way we communicate with each other, separates genders creating a boundary that is nearly impossible to break. Yet, there are so many women and men that don't join or even become an ally in the feminist movement. The feminist movement in the eyes of many can seem extreme and radical. However, when there is oppression like gender inequality, within our language, politics and day to day I cannot understand how people can look away. That being said I do allow gender stereotypes, to put me into boxes. A perfect example of this is that I am constantly saying sorry, rather than owning up to what I say, I would rather downplay my ask or comment so that I don't sound needy or bossy. I began to notice that women were supposed to be quiet and not strong with their demands. Another example of allowing gender stereotypes to shape me is in the way that a stand. As a tall woman, I often slouch or bend my knees in order to become smaller. Not only are women supposed to be quiet their bodies are also supposed to be small. It could be that I just have bad posture, but whenever I talk to people, especially boys, I feel myself shrinking rather than standing up tall. This is just another way that I do not stop gender stereotypes from shaping my life.
As I write this and reflect on myself, I have started to understand how my childhood and upbringing have made me aware of my feminism. Girls as young as second grade are treated differently and put into categories that are not necessarily true. As a teenager, I now understand what these categories and boxes can feel like. Sometimes it feels as if you have to act a certain way. I never really understood why I felt like I needed to wear my hair down, wear dresses and act politely. I obviously know why I had to those things now, but what was really my motive for acting like a girl as a kid? If I were to go back as a child would I have wanted that doll because it was my favorite character or because all the girls had it? These are the scary thoughts and questions I still have as I reflect on my childhood. Did I really want to be a girl or is that the only thing I knew how to be as a child? Our class discussion and the readings have made me question the actions I took as a child and how they have impacted me today.