In the Name of Modesty

For too long society has dictated how one should carry them self within the confines of gender. If one were to act outside of gender expectations, certainly someone in one's family, in one's community or perhaps a stranger would remind one of who they are in society, what their role is, and that one should act accordingly. Society does this sort of policing through language to make sure one "falls in line" to create a controlled society. Language has served as an oppressor to both genders, however, they do not experience the same magnitude of oppression. Women have been more disadvantage in this systematic oppression that is gender expectations and sexism. The article on linguistic normativity highlighted that language affects perceptions of gender and in return how one is treated. The article of language and gender in congressional speech outlined how often hyper masculinity is employed in formal language when male legislators speak while there is a trend of emotional language when female legislators speak. Both articles conclude that different language is used to create a power structure and fuel gender stereotypes and a set of expectations.

In my life, like many other girls, I too have experienced judgement because people felt the need to
police my actions, the way I spoke, and what I wore. Society has made a connection between our appearance and how that ties into our character. Girls especially receive harsher criticism for their appearance. If you look on social media and read the comments left under posts or blogs written about the appearance of women in the eye of the public, you will notice that most of the comments attack her character. I was especially appalled by how the focus of Hilary Clinton's campaign, was often a conversation about what she wore or her hair, instead of how a great leader and example she is to all. Moreover, I was more shocked about the women who sat in front of cameras on national television to join in on defaming Hilary for her appearance, although they too have been oppressed under sexism and in a society dominated by men.

How Hilary's campaign was televised revealed to me that I wasn't exempt from being ridiculed. Yet, I did not expect to feel that pressure here at Govs. My peers and teachers constantly commented on my appearance. This one experience was particularly troubling. It was a Saturday night and we had a dance. A teacher I had formed a relationship told me with her body language and a tap on the shoulder, that she did not approve of what I wore. I ignored her given that she had done this before. However, the tap on the shoulder was not enough for her and she found me in the dance moments after, with another teacher. She told me coldly to leave the dance because I had to cover up and follow the example of other girls at the dance. To my knowledge there was no rule in the handbook about dress code at a dance. Yet, that was not what bothered me most. What hurt me was that I felt singled out and hurt. A few days after I attempted to have a conversation with her. Yet, I was met with comments like "you had to cover up", "you were making me uncomfortable", and "what are your male teachers going to say". She had internalized the oppression of gender expectations and harmful language from people in her life who must have policed her. She projected those beliefs onto me with the intention to have me follow societal guidelines as well, however, I was not the one.

I am not perfect and I have judged other girls too. However, I have been brave enough to catch myself and I believe that is the first step; acknowledgement. We must check our biases, our oppressive and harmful language about gender, and finally, understand our privilege and struggles within a system created to divide us.